So hubby and I went to the Mall of America this weekend. He kept pointing out things that he liked, so I tried them on hoping I'd find something cute to buy.
I tried on like 6 different things, all of which were too small (even in an XL) and I literally broke down and started crying in the dressing room. Several times.
I went into Cache and tried on this really cute black top that can be worn as a dress...and I had this huge gut sticking out, and nothing but cellulite all over my legs. It was awful. I felt so ashamed of myself. I told hubby we were leaving that store, and that I wasn't trying on another clothing item the entire time we were there - and I didn't. I felt like such a cow, and so embarassed that I was trying things on in front of him and I had to tell him I was too fat to wear it.
I feel like all these efforts I make are for nothing. I try really hard to work out, eat healthy, and lose weight...and I still can't stand looking at myself in the mirror. I wish I knew how to like myself no matter what.