Originally Posted by lil.oh.me
Rick, I am so sorry that happened to you. Losing a parent, in itself, is hard enough; but then, to have to confront what you've felt and, probably tried to pretend, wasn't the case (her relationship with your brother), afterwards must have been horrible. I am truly sorry. I AM HAPPY YOU FIGURED IT ALL OUT THOUGH!!! As has been said before, that is always the key; "not what we're eating, but what is eating us."
I went through a bad relationship, after just having lost a lot of weight, and feeling really good about myself. He told me he could never marry me because he was attracted to thinner women--after we finally were, ah hem, intimate. How humiliating. Anywhoo-I ate and cried like a baby for over a year. No, really. It crushed my faith in people most of all. It also crushed my faith in myself. Afterall, how could I allow someone to get into my head like that. So, I feel like I've continued to let myself down ever since and let him in. There is more. I guess we all have "background" and our own crosses to bear.
I am glad you're back on track though. Truly. You know what else, you have moving water by which you can sit and reflect or take a walk. I don't even have a decent body of water to sit next to. Ugh!!
Some men are jerks. You learned. Remember you are your own best friend and you are the most important thing in the world. Not only do things for yourself but try to get out of yourself and do for others. Be your own bridge over troubled waters. You always have your imagination. I suggest you read Homecoming by John Bradshaw. It helped me. 1,674 calories and 15.5 net carbs yesterday and I feel OK. Am exercising more; the stupid community college gym was closed yesterday when I went to ride the stationary bike. I will ride my real mountain bike today.
Hang in there. Feel, think, act and if it does not work try it all over again.