Jenai - Ooooh...I'm sure that hurt to read. You are not a bad mom first and foremost!!! You are a woman trying to change her ways and trying to do what's best for her family! It's not easy being the parent is it!! Having said that....if you've been buying sweets for her for the past 12 years...no doubt she's upset that you stopped. You're a grown woman who has made a decision to change your ways....and even though you've made that decision, it's not easy is it? We all have struggles along the way trying to figure out what we need to do to get and stay healthy. BUT...we made this decision for ourselves...she did not. You made the decision for her...as you should...you're her mother.
Can you sit her down and have a heart to heart with her? Tell her how much of a struggle it's been for you. Tell her how different situations have made you feel. Tell her you're human and these things have been difficult for you. Try to gently explain that you want her to always remain the healthy vibrant person she is today...and eating junk food is not going to make that happen.
HOWEVER....eating a little treat here and there is teaching them moderation. This is also a lesson our children need to understand. Maybe you could start buy agreeing to buy a few things that are not triggers for you and tell your kids they need to learn how to ration it so it lasts longer. Or maybe set up an allowance program for them and if she wants to waste her money on junk...that's her decision. Maybe if she's having to buy it herself, she'll think twice?
As you can see....I have no answers! Still navigating raising children myself...so I'm as clueless as every other parent out there! LOL!
I hope something I randomly spewed here helps you in some remote way? LOL!