I think you need to do something completely proactive about your self-esteem. As women we get wrapped up in our appearance and tend to focus on that as part of our self worth. But what about doing something completely unrelated to appearance to boost yourself up? Something that makes you feel strong and brave and powerful. Like take up martial arts, or train for a 5K or learn to do something you've always dreamed of. For me I would love to learn to play an instrument I can sing along with, maybe the piano or guitar, and someday I would like to get a pilot's license. Think of something that has nothing to do with body image, beauty or weight loss and tackle it.
I've been heavy most of my life, but I'm a darned interesting and talented person, and I'll be you are too. So think about it, maybe you need to plant a fabulous rose garden or write book for your children, or redecorate your living room. I also think if you can't manage to refocus some of that negativity that counseling is in order.
On the flip side I would also recommend that while you work on the "non appearance side" you get yourself a complete make-over, right down to the knickers. I can't tell you how fantastic it felt to wear a brand new dress, new jewelry, new shoes, and a new hair style to my cousin's wedding last weekend. It was like breaking out of a cocoon, and emerging as a beautiful butterfly.
Starting weight: 244.6 lbs. 10/01/09
Pounds lost: 80.6 lbs
Current weight: 164 lbs
Goal weight: 120 lbs
Weight to go: 44 lbs
Goal Date: 1/1/13