Hi Jacklin, my name is Mary and I , too, have started on a lifetime journey. I have a thread under Motivation similar to yours, but you have been way more honest than I have been. I have had lots of trying times as well, but did not go into anywhere close the detail that you did. And, as you can see by your views, you are inspiring many others, including me. I am so jealous that you are down into the 100's again! I am 5'2" and weigh 235 pounds. My highest weight was about 5 years ago at 268. I have been off and on with my weight effort over the years. I am 62, so it is pretty hard to get it off. It is a good thing you are doing this now, before you get any older! Another difference is that I have never been at a normal weight as an adult. In high school, I was about 20 pounds overweight (and I thought I was really FAT!). In college, I hit 150 and was really disappointed in myself. So, over the years, I would gain and lose, gain and lose, etc. I became a single mom and continued my gain and lose habit. I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes 4 years ago and have been taking metformin since then. I once got down to 200, but could not get another pound below that before I started gaining it back! (Again, major disappointment with myself!) Anyway, my son is now in his 30's and he is the reason I am on this discussion board. He has been "nagging" me for years about my weight and overall lack of good healthy habits. But he actually recently got through to me because he was kind of like your doctor that told you like it really was, only my son didn't use medical terms. It was more about the family and what would happen if I died because I did not take care of myself. I have a granddaughter too, that I want to see grow up and get married and all of that. So I am working with him (I call him my coach), to stay accountable. It is hard because I am a very busy person, even though I am retired, and I don't like to spend all this time on the computer. But if it must be to stay motivated, then I am going to have to post on here more often. You have truly inspired me!
I would like to tell you about another website called Flylady.com. Fly means "finally loving yourself." Her name is Marla Cilley and she and her team help people get organized in every area of their lives, including weight loss. She helps people learn to love themselves so they will keep themselves healthy. There is way more to her than that, but you can learn more on her website.
I wish you the best and I pray that you will stay on your path of getting and keeping yourself and your family healthy! God bless you!