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Old 10-23-2013, 01:12 AM   #14 (permalink)
Crimpet
FitDay Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Alexandria, Virginia
Posts: 146
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Mine straight up told me 3 years ago that he didn't want me to lose weight because he thought that if I did men would start noticing me and he didn't want that. First, that's an insult because it made me feel like I wasn't pretty enough as I was. Second, it made me realize that I was in for a hard challenge anytime I put noticeable effort into weight loss. The first part has shown in his attitude towards me in the past 2 years-disinterest. The second part has been a constant struggle ever since.

I am thinking that you're on the same path, and I am concerned for you in regards to that. I really hope that you two can sit down and get to the root of why he's being this way. I admit, I didn't like hearing my husband say it, but having him admit it really helped me to see that it wasn't in my head, and that he had a problem.

Mine too also gave me guilt trips anytime I didn't eat what he wanted me to, including refusng to eat when we went out to get junk food. He said he felt guilty buying for himself, and only felt okay eating it if I joined him..even if I ate a salad it wasn't enough. He also tips the opposite side at times, where he will suddenly say "we should stop drinking sodas and such in such"...but it's usually for his own health because he knows I will keep him on track and he wants my support. It's never about my health.

The best way I've learned to deal with a selfish unsupportive husband is by keeping his knowlegdge very minimal in what I am doing. I wont exercise in front of him, weigh myself near him, eat around him most of the time, and when I have to I calorie count all day to accommodate for any bad meals I know he will definitely pressure me hard to eat (ones I cant avoid). My weakness is ice cream-he likes to drag in 3 gallons at a time. He claims its his favorite, but I notice 2 of them will be mine and 1 of them his. I finally got him to STOP bringing in my favorites and only his (because I don't like it as much) but he's convinced I love it. lol

The most important part is to talk to him. Find out what is making him behave that way. Is it control? Is it low self-esteem? Is it guilt? Once you figure that out, having your answers will sort of help you determine what you need to do- and how to deal with him. I really wish you the best. I know there are many of us here that completely understand what you're going through so you're not alone.
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