New member with a long way to go
Hi, I have been on fitday a couple of times over the last few years but have never been to the forums. I am back and ready to stick with it this time. I had a sudden epiphany last month. I turned 40 and realized I had spent most of the last 40 years thinking my self fat.
I was raised by two fat women who were daughters of a mostly thin mother. My grandfather used to say to my mom "you would be so pretty if you could just loose some weight". She was 15, 5'5" and weighed 150 Pounds. But she thought she was fat and by the time she was an adult she was. So when I was 11 and a little chunky my grandmother convinced her to put me on my first diet. That was the end of a normal childhood. By the time I was 20 I was 240lb.
I spent the summer I was 22 with intense activity, lots of walking, jumping on a tramp, eating super health and not very much, and I lost 30 lb in two months. It took me three years to put 20 of that back on and then I got pregnant. I shot up 70 pounds in 9 months and then lost 50 of that with in three month of having my first son. I didn't know that my thyroid has started screwing up and my progesterone had dropped near menopausal levels, but within 6 months I was up to 310. I went to the doctor and started on thyroid and progesterone and stopped sleeping all the time and became sane again, but didn't loose any weight.
With my second son I went up to 360 but managed to get back down to around 315 after. My third, and last, son took me back up to 360 and I came down to 340 after him. Over the last several years I managed to loose some but I was bouncing between 330 and 320.
So I turned 40 on September 3rd and I made a decision. I am not going to spent the next 40 years fat.
I have been raised to believe that all drugs are bad. Some are necessary if your sick, but they are still bad. I had never thought of taking a weight loss drug because that is the worst of the bad drugs. I don't know why my mom thought that, but that's what she taught me. I started taking phentermine on September 15th, four days after my life turned upside down from the Colorado floods.
We didn't loose our home but we lost the roads to get to it. We were trapped there for 14 days while we worked on fixing enough of the wash out to get 4x4 vehicles out. The day I started the drug I hiked up to the top of the mountain to reach the only spot with cell service so I could call our families to let them know we had water, power, and food and were staying.
Over the next 10 days I lost almost a pound a day. Once we got out my neighbor and I found a place in town to stay while the highway is being fixed. What used to be a 45 minute commute is now over 2 hours. So we stay down here during the week and make the trek home on the weekends.
I am back on fitday and tracking how often I take my meds (I still take thyroid and have diabetes), body and weight measurements, what I eat, and how much I move. I am only checking my weight at home once a week and when I weighed on Saturday morning I was 305. That puts me lighter then I have been since I got pregnant with my middle child.
That's a 6 pound loss in one week. I know that's not going to be the norm but it was sure nice to see.
So thank you for reading to the end if you are still here. This is me and my goal is to be thin. I have spent enough time being fat and I am not going to fall for the "you should be happy at around 180" bullshit. I want to be 140. That's what the charts say I should be so that is where I will be. But I am not going to be unrealistic and say I want it by the time I turn 41. My goal is June 3rd 2015. That is 2lb a week.