Hey all.. very new to fitness
I'm not sure how all this works but here goes nothing..
I'm 25 years old and weigh approx. 80kg, before I had my 1st child 4 years ago I weighed 60kg. I'm pretty much eating the same as I did 10 years ago at high school; usually once a day after school and MAYBE an apple etc in between- I used to have thIs big problem where I couldn't eat infront of someone..anyways..
I can't seem to lose this weight I have gained- I habeas been told I need to eat properly- more than once a day, but everytime I get onto the straight and narrow I forget to eat that day and it throws that out the window..
Okay- medications.. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder maybe 7 years ago and have been on anti dependants since then. The past 5 years have pretty much gone downhill which is the reason I'm here.
So I met Mr Right 5 years ago and fell madly inlove with him. He asked to have a baby with me and I fell pregnant soon after, 3 months into pregnancy I found out he was smoking pot and I asked him to choose.. So I spent the rest of pregnancy alone and heartbroken. I developed preclampsia and had an emergency c section giving birth to a 2070gram 5 week premature baby boy. I flat lined on the table. Spent 3 days in ICU and was able to hold my son.the first time when he was 4 days old. Sorry this is so long butter its hard to tell my story without these bits. After 2 weeks in hospital we were allowed to go home. When I met up with my ex to tell him he was a daddy- that's where I met his new gf(apparently they were trying too). This is where he first accused me of cheating on him bit a dna test proved him wrong- I don't know where id be without that $10 fortnightly bonus :/.
I met this man when my son cut his first tooth and again, I fell pregnant, he asked me ti marry him and of course I said yes- I had trouble after trouble with this pregnancy- cholestaysis and high blood pressure among other things. I gave birth to a baby girl and found out she was terribly sick and she passed away 11 hours old. It took 7 months to get an autopsy report that said My placenta had torn while giving birth which starved her of oxygen. I was diagnosed with PTSD and was prescribed 300mg anti dependants a day. I got sick of telling people how I felt and what my story was so I stopped going to therapy. Our engagement broke down because we were both mourning in a different ways and neither of us could understand.
I turned to my best friend id known since high school, where she then revealed she had slept with my fiance. So I threw in the towel on that friendship. Id known her for 10 years.
I'm currently studying and for the sake of my son I want to get back on track.. Which means being happy with my image. I'm sorry again this is so long but for anyone to understand and attempt to give me advise I need to tell you where I've just come from. I believe I am still suffering depression as pretty much everyday when I get home from collage I crash on the lounge for couple hours. Any amount of feedback is appreciated to get back on my feet but I will not accept anything negative. Thanks everyone