As many as one in three women and three in twenty men lack the libido to have sex on a regular basis. Whether the culprit is kids, medications such as the pill, chronic illness, stress at work, a lull in a long-term relationship, or all of the above, you don’t have to accept a lackluster sex life. Dedicate some time and attention to the tantric being inside of you, and you’ll find yourself ready for some sexy times.
1. Get your workout on.
On a purely physiological level, getting your heart rate up can boost your sense of desire because it increases blood flow to the areas that count — in other words, your sex organs. Combined with the body-positive feelings that breaking a sweat can induce, you’ll feel more confident in bed. Not to mention, working out can also increase your stamina and energy levels, reduce stress, and improve your mood.
2. De-stress to get in the mood.
Stress and anxiety related to school, your job, your kids, or your family members can have a huge impact on your sexual desire. Stress releases a hormone called cortisol, which in turn, causes testosterone — the hormone responsible for sexual desire in both men and women — to plummet. Taking some time to unwind, whether through meditation, taking a long bath, reading, or getting a massage, can help you to get in touch with your libido again.
3. Use a lubricant.
Painful sex can make it nearly impossible to feel desire, and vaginal dryness is one of the most common culprits behind discomfort during intercourse. A lubricant or vaginal moisturizer can help you to look forward to sex again. Choose a silicone- or water-based formula.
4. Get in touch with your fantasies.
Has sex become routine? If it’s your long-term relationship that’s lacking that sexy sizzle, why not try something new? Read something erotic together, share your fantasies, or try role-playing. Accept that sometimes in a long-term relationship, you may have to work to feel desire for your partner.
5. Kegels, anyone?
Kegels, also known as pelvic floor exercises, are a powerful little tool that both women and men can use to improve their experience during sex. Kegels tone and strengthen the muscles that you use to climax, making for a stronger orgasm. Practically anyone can do them, and you should notice effects immediately. Simply contract and relax the pelvic floor muscles.
6. Enjoy sex … with yourself.
Contrary to popular belief, masturbation can, surprisingly, increase your libido and help a flailing sex life. While there are certainly exceptions to that rule — compulsive masturbation can have the opposite effect — for the majority of men and women, masturbation is normal and healthy, even in addition to sex in a committed relationship.
7. Try these tasty aphrodisiacs.
If all else fails, you can always turn to chocolate. Women who regularly eat dark chocolate, which contains phytochemicals and antioxidants, have been found to enjoy more sexual encounters. Research into other foods, including figs, oysters, citrus, avocados, strawberries, asparagus, and almonds, suggests that setting the mood may be as easy as eating well.
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