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5 Sex Toy Horror Stories

These sex toy horror stories prove that as a species, we really can overcome anything.

Sex toys are great. The right toy can help you boost pleasure—both while you’re alone and when you’re with a partner. But as these sex toy horror stories prove, there are a few places where sex toys simply don’t belong. (For instance, lost somewhere in your rectum.)

There shouldn’t be any shame in using adult toys to satisfy your sexual needs. Unfortunately, not everyone is on board with that sentiment yet, which is why you might have a hard time brushing it off when your mother happens upon the dildo under your pillow.

The truth is that many of us still feel embarrassed about sex. But while having your private life exposed can be humiliating, it’s also a little bit funny. (At least, we think it is.)

Don’t worry, though. These stories prove you’re not alone in your sex toy mishap. From physical injuries to parent intruders, these are some of the most terrifyingly embarrassing sex toy stories on the Internet.

1. Slippery When Wet

Dorm life isn’t exactly easy. For one, there’s no easy way to wash a dildo when you share a bathroom with 40 other girls—at least, according to this Reddit user. Her strategy? She’d take her dildo into the shower and wash it then.

There was only one hitch: the fact that dildos get really, really slippery when wet. The very large, very purple dildo slipped through her fingers, landing on the floor before it rolled into the adjacent stall—where some, poor, unsuspecting co-ed was trying to take a shower.

2. Pack Light Next Time

Reddit user TrishBubble was 19 years old when she got barred from boarding a train because her luggage was too heavy. Naturally, her mother stepped in, grumbling that she should have been allowed to pack TrishBubble’s suitcases for her. It didn’t take her long to notice that the suitcase’s sock-and-underwear compartment was rather heavy given its contents. She pulled everything out, only to find a large, bubblegum-pink Rabbit vibrator, before proceeding to loudly ask her daughter what it was in front of everyone in the train station.

3. Stuck On You

Reddit user mrsheikh shared a story about a friend who accidentally got a Fleshlight-style contraption stuck on his penis. His friend started to panic, and ended up calling mrsheikh to help him get it off. After laughing at him, mrsheikh agreed to help, first trying ice, then lube. Finally, as a last resort, he used a razor to carefully slice off the end of the sleeve. It worked.

4. It’s Electric (But Seriously, Don’t Try This At Home)

This Reddit user describes making the smart decision to use a Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation (TENS) machine with electrode pads to “stimulate” his girlfriend while they were having sex. Everything appeared to be going well until his girlfriend climaxed and proceeded to pee all over both of them.

Thinking that it was just a fluke, they tried the same setup again. She peed again.

5. Pump It Up

Reddit user unixman84 describes his experience as a sexually adventurous teenager who stumbled upon a weird-looking syringe that seemed like it might be a good way to get off—at the time. He used it as a “makeshift penis pump,” but when he extracted his penis he found that it was covered in a large hickey which lasted days. He later discovered that the “syringe” he’d been using was actually a breast pump.

[Image via Shutterstock]

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